White, Grey, Black...

Finally, it is complete. The 3 colours that represent the transition of every peer support leader. White. Grey. Black. Upon the end of 2006 Primary 5 camp held at my secondary school, I realized that the very symbols accustomed to each support leader’s evolution are these colours on their T-shirts.

White – bearing the colour of a new beginning of this leadership journey. The very basic and plain colour most should have. In the past, as I don this colour, I experienced something different. The kind of exposure I have never thought I would find by joining this leadership group. It represents my first encounter with my strength and weaknesses of being a leader. Often, I found myself fragile towards criticisms and I have no choice but to accept it.

Grey – bearing the colour of a buffer zone. The point of time when commitment was being questioned. For many, this colour is an exception because they have already chosen their path, to give their all for their newly-found family. But for me, I endured much questions that I, myself created. I find myself asking whether I was good enough to be part of this group. Kept wondering how I got this far and whether I could go on to live up to PSL. Kept searching for my place and role to play in order to not be branded as ‘inactive’ which I eventually overcome, knowing that every little thing I did for PSL would never be a waste, every single things counts, no matter how insignificant. This is also the time when a well-affirmed decision could transform one cocoon into a butterfly. Metamorphosis as one may call it.

Black – bearing the colour of professionalism. The peak of one’s experience is being tested. This is the time where one finds himself realizing why he was part of this family and truly present himself to be the best he can give. For some, the joy of being a PSL was so memorable that he could not bring himself to ignore the good old times that he would do anything to contribute his services for the betterment of the group. For others, it may represent the colour of succession and farewell. But one thing remains unchanged as one puts on this colour, there will be no regrets for having completed this extraordinary journey one could ever get once in his lifetime.

Maybe Caroline was right after all, there are memories so memorable that one will never let go of because it involves who you are, the things you never want to lose. I don’t want to forget the things I have been through all these while, I just can’t seem to willingly let go of my past, being a member of PSL family. Perhaps, I was etched from the start and naturally, I made my decision to come for this camp just to relive those days, those memories that seemed so distant but by being involved in it, simply heartwarming.

The one thing that really moved me was how my previously sec 2 juniors have become today, especially from Proj-teen. I could see they are more united, more bonded, heart and mind alike. I guess the essence of a committee’s success lies on how its members see and feel for one another. Truly, I felt happy for them because they have something that will guarantee the success of their future endeavours. Many words I have left unspoken because I wanted it to be written down like this. I hope with these few words, I could reach out to them.

Next, about the current sec 2 juniors whose names I could recall well not entirely but I managed to memorize them by the end of the 4 days. In random order: Shi Qi, Sarah, Nabilah, Amy, Jeffrey, Sofyan, Jasmine, Hilmi, Dillon, Sze Man, Ming Yang, Edward, Yu Xian, Theresa, Sabilah, Nurhanis, Samuel, Munirah, Atiqah and that is as far I can go, my apologies if I missed out some names. My only hope would be to see you guys be leaders that excel beyond what you think you limit yourselves to. The time will come when you finally realize that PSL is not just about fun and games but also sincere dedication, tireless efforts, service learning, a different breed of leaders from councillors and all about the appreciation of being PSL yourselves. Perhaps, this appreciation too drove me to write this post.

For the executive committee, it was pleasant to see you guys grow and bloom. Indeed, we were not wrong to bring you aboard on captain’s wheel. Overall, magnificent performance, I would have given you a standing ovation if necessary. I found Aleem’s lunch oath very interesting and unique, Anthony’s bumble bee and shark attack hilarious, Xinyi’s enthusiasm never ends till she finally lost her voice, James’ spontaneity and antics amusing and it mirrors himself, Huiwen’s achievement to overcome her once-lost sense of belonging worth applauding for, Khaizal’s background support worth mentioning which contribute to the camp’s success, Ruo Ning’s determination to give all she’s got even at the expense of some personal problems with her brother caused be by the camp worth noticing, Nikita’s absence regrettable, Michele’s efforts for the camp very heartwarming and not forgetting Anand’s competence that simply exemplary. No matter how different you guys are, to me you are all important and worthy to don that meaningful navy-blue blazer next year. And remember that PSL have given you much and when the time comes, you will have to make a choice whether to give back something for PSL. The choice is yours alone.

My role has come to fade away, eroded by time and distance but my heart will always beat the PSL spirit… - William

Inspired by “Home” by Michael Buble.