Ladies, Step Up To Reality...

Don't ask me why I posted that picture up there. I have no valid reason for it, maybe a nice gimmick to me at the spur of that moment. And by the way, it was not taken in Singapore, last December when I went back to Indonesia in a shopping mall.

March holidays are over and it's 'wartime' again. Come to think of it, the holidays were not much of a relaxing period of time because of the exams when school reopens. Life is getting harder every passing year. When I looked back, I did not realize how fortunate I was when I was younger in secondary and primary school. Holidays were the time to explore the shopping malls all around Singapore from East to West, North to South. Windowshopping with my family was the ultimate 'eye-refresher' compared to staying cooped up at home. Ah, those were the days... Maybe that's the reason why I no longer go out often nowadays. Have seen enough malls that it became a bore. I will only go out if it is absolutely necessary and I have time on my side. Otherwise, sorry, I will not be available.

The other day, my mother gave me a lecture on 'how to find a good future wife'. It was one of those lecture series she compiled over her years of experience and analysis of the current society be it in Singapore or somewhere else. I really enjoyed her lectures because it was really motivating and made a lot of sense. The delivery was entertaining with jokes and several case study were presented. Now, that can be a reliable source if information. Nevermind what she told me because I am never going to disclose it anyway. But I think the main highlight is important and I will not mind sharing it. A good future wife has to be able to accept her spouse's family and work towards her goal in building the family's harmony and nourishing the future generations.

If you take a look at the society today, women have so many roles to play. As a mother, a wife, a breadwinner of the family and sometimes, a career ladder climber. I agree that women are better in multi-task arena compared to men. But this multi-task somehow leads to the uncertain role women have to prioritise. Think about it, multi-task equals division of time. Either to spend less time at work and spend more on family matters or vice versa. How successful a woman can manage her limited time when faced in situation like these? Most of the time, a woman, no matter how much she tries to hold on multi-tasking, she will burn out one day. When burnt out, work became a burden and family seems to be an obligation. Things get worse from here on and eventually, family is the usual victim who suffer the most.

Next problem. Just a question for the ladies out there. How many of you can cook and cook well to prepare a delicious meal for the family? Recent observations have shown that women in Singapore cannot cook well enough. Yes, they can prepare instant noodles, fry the egg, cook the rice, fry the chicken nuggets, boil water, cut the carrots and such. But prepare a meal? I don't think many can come up with different menus everyday. Most would just stick to cooking the usual stuff and humans being humans, get bored pretty easily thus, the desire to eat at home will soon degrade. Solution is simple, eat out at fast food outlet, hawker centre, foodcourt or posh restaurants that charge a 'bomb' when you foot the bill. Another fact, those households with extremely clean and tidy kitchen usually have women who cannot cook. Because they cannot cook, the kitchen is not used, only cleaned to wipe off the accumulating dusts. There is this translated Dutch saying, "The only way to make your husband happy is to fill stomach with delicious food that he can crave for more." Not being able to cook is not a sin but it certainly may not guarantee the husband's and children's happiness. Relate this to "A hungry man is an angry man." You will see that men get pretty upset when he finds out that there's no food on the table when he returns from work. Men can be a better chef compared to women but only their wives can make the best dishes these men (or chefs) like.

Next problem. There's this saying, "Once your husband steps out of the house, he is no longer your husband." What I mean is that men can be a different person when he's not at home and it is true most of the time. I can understand why some women hire private investigators to check on their husband. Trust between spouses is important. Lose that trust and you can throw away that wedding ring and forget vows you make. How to deal with this problem, well, the only solution is to quality spend time together more often. Some may find that romance dies off after marriage, so it is essential to relight that flame. It is not easy when you have kids watching you but simple gestures of affection will help maintain that trust. Some resort to 'doing things behind closed door' if you know what I mean. Health professionals said it contributes to a healthy husband-wife relationship and I agree to that statement to some extent. However, to ensure long term perfect marriage is to treasure those little things you do together as husband and wife. Warm conversation with jokes here and there, remembering wedding anniversary and going to places you dated before are just some of the things that can be cherished.

Well, enough said about all these. So Ladies, step up to reality, the popular trends and claims about women being good all doing many things at one time may not be necessarily beneficial after all. Some might have suceeded but in the end, women will eventually do want to have a loving family with her husband. This post has to end somewhere otherwise I can go on listing things that may contribute to the divorce rates in Singapore or perhaps the low birth rate based on the social aspects. Singapore's economic drive in some way can have caused these problems too but then again money can't buy happiness. Fortunately ot unfortunately, money can solve many things in life but happiness is another different ball game.

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping." Take Singapore for example, there are plenty of shopping centres like Vivocity, Wisma Atria, Takashimaya and all but are we really happy when we have the purchasing power to buy all the things our heart desires? Humans are humans after all, seeking happiness in the wrong places when all they want is to have a good life fulfilled. I believe that harmony within family is the happiness we have been searching for. Family will not leave you behind when your friends do so. Family cherish you for who you are when others judge you. Family's happiness multiply while happiness in other things disappears when you desire another. Unfortunately, some of us may not have this kind of family. But you can make it happen when you start your own family, depending whether you have the courage to start anew with your very own ideals in life.

This post is inspired by "I've Got You Under My Skin" by Michael Buble.
This post is dedicated to my mother whose birthday falls recently.